Ignoring Red Flags

Ignoring red flags because you want to see the good in people will cost you later —- unknown DA

Of the “broken” relationships in my life that meant anything to me, I saw all the red flags long before they blew up. I became so good at ignoring each of “alarm bells” because I was desperate to “keep” them in my life. I’d cover-up or omit details in order to make them seem better than they were, because telling the truth would reveal just how “off kilter” the situation I was in actually was. A hard pill to swallow, but that made me an “accomplice” to my own abuse: I taught them how to disrespect me each time I “allowed” them to “get away” with their “ill behaviour” towards me.

Every time I ignored each red flag, I was buying time and played with the time that I was given but sooner or later time runs out… At that point, my world EXPLODED leaving me with years of unwinding the ensuing trauma. A tough way to learn a myriad of lessons….

Hence, pay close attention to signs and red flags. Don’t ignore them. When you see one, figure out what it means and act accordingly. If you have a doubt about a person’s intentions, humility, agenda, or smarts, don’t ignore it. Keep probing. More often than not, there is something causing that doubt: this is YOUR INTUITION talking to you, so LISTEN and ACT UPON IT!

That’s not to discourage keeping an open mind, but erring on the side of assuming that a person has the virtues of “your standards” as a “good human” is a bad idea. As I reflect, looking back at the red flags I saw during my time with certain people, all the “alarms” I chose to ignore, I regret not taking more time or energy to understand them: lessons learnt the hard way, but necessary & ultimately fruitful.

Whilst it’s never possible to ascertain complete confidence in another person, nagging doubts about a someone’s intentions, character & humility, agenda, or smarts need to be properly explored & discarded before you “go all in.” 🚩🚩🚩