LOTS OF PEOPLE
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down — @oprah @oprahdaily
I enjoy the irony of one minute, walking to the tube in cold, rainy London, & the next being chauffeured along the “blazing hot” Vegas strip in a limo. However, I am still learning that not everyone along one’s travels cares for you when the “limo’s parked”, only wanting to know you when there’s a “free ride”. For a long time, I allowed that behaviour in my life. Something that I’m entirely accountable for.
Why did I let that happen? B/c I was “people pleasing”. Obsessed with the cultural proclivity for being liked, genuinely wanting to make others comfortable & happy, in seek of approval & friendship, I guess? Triggers based on past breakups & abandonment. It’s well researched that such “placaters” are people who feel they have little value except for what they can do for another person. It is now my understanding that people seek to please others to avoid conflict, secure feelings of indispensability & reduce fears of abandonment, always trying to avoid anger & confrontation forcing one to use agreeableness as self-defense, which only ends in one’s OWN tears.
If you’re a people-pleaser you may find it hard to say “no” b/c you feel it comes across as cruel or uncaring. But it absolutely does not have to. Assertive communication is actually more honest & can be done respectfully. So, research techniques to practice saying “no”. A few pointers to ENCOURAGE you to put this into action:
▪️You’ll ruin your life trying to make everyone happy.
▪️Your behaviour decides who stays in your life.
▪️People will use you for the foundation & finish the structure with somebody else.
▪️Never give someone the opportunity to waste your time twice.
▪️You learn a lot about people when they don’t get what they want from you.
▪️Forget about the people from your past, they didn’t make it to your future for a reason.
So, be discerning about who’s allowed to “ride with you”, & cut the freeloaders, even if it means being alone, b/c even a “stretched limo” can get crowded to the point of alienation…
